How To Have A Positive Mindset
By Susan Leigh
Some people think that looking good is about being perfectly groomed, wearing the latest fashions and appearing as if you’ve just stepped from the pages of a fabulous magazine. But there are many people who fulfill none of those criteria, who may even look a little wild, quirky and disheveled at times and yet something about them means they always looks great.
What does it take to look great, what is the best way to look good each day?
– Top of many people’s attractive list is a ready smile and a cheery disposition. Someone who is warm, friendly and enjoys life generates an inner glow and radiance that lights up everything and everyone about them.
– Be someone who’s prepared to say yes, who’s enthusiastic, joins in and is willing to have a go. People who grab opportunities will most times look good because that mindset generates engagement and a readiness to live life to the full. Attractive people often have a genuine interest in life and what it brings.
– Start to develop good habits and maintain a positive mindset by focusing on the good things that happen each day, even the small things like a stranger’s smile, a compliment, a thoughtful gesture, the view from your window. When you start to treasure the good in life the ensuing happier outlook will help you look better each day.
– Learn not to take things personally. Someone else’s bad mood or unwarranted outburst may be because they have a situation of their own that needs to be dealt with. Reflect on what’s happened, try to stand back from it a little and decide how to respond. When you detach yourself you can determine how to next proceed, as well as take care of how you want to feel afterwards.
– Look after yourself. Good health is a significant factor in looking good. Exercise regularly and follow a healthy regimen, with breaks for good food and plenty of water. The importance of sleep is often underestimated, but respect that quality sleep is a key part of processing the day’s activities. We often feel better, have a more positive view of life when we’ve ‘slept on it’. Many people work long hours and hope to catch up on their sleep at weekends or holiday times but try to introduce good habits; switch off your technology and commit to a couple of hours relaxation before bed. Wind down, sleep well and invest in looking good each day.
– Be gentle with yourself. Forgive yourself your shortcomings and mistakes. Yes, there may be issues and situations that need to be dealt with, things that are messy, that cause stress. Try to deal with them quickly; it’s usually less stressful than was envisaged. Value constructive criticism. Decide if there’s a validity to what’s been said, a learning point you could benefit from. Treat yourself with the same compassion you would someone else, then give yourself credit for your gentler approach.
– Don’t underestimate the role of professional help in dealing with your ‘demons’, negative patterns of behaviour or any issues you may have. Utilise a good counsellor or hypnotherapist and support yourself in becoming stronger and more confident. Reacting badly to stress, situations and other people can become a habit and sometimes we need help to change that and learn to cope better.
– Accept help. Let friends, family or colleagues provide support and be gracious about their ideas and input. You may even need to ask for help at times, suggest things that you need to make your life easier, especially if you’ve always been independent. But mutual support can improve relationships, generate new ideas and forge important bonds and connections. Communicate regularly and invest time and attention in your special relationships. Welcome the closeness and feel part of team you.
– Some people find that they’re always in a rush in the mornings. They have so much to cram into the first hour of each day that they’re already frazzled and out of sorts by the time they arrive at work. Going to better earlier may allow you to get up earlier, with time to start the day well. You could do some stretching, 30 minutes of yoga, maybe get off the bus a stop earlier and walk part of the way. Then you can take time and have a drink, maybe some breakfast and start the day with a more relaxed, positive frame of mind, looking better as a consequence.
– Reflect on how your appearance, the impression you give, the image you portray. Many of us adopt an everyday ‘uniform’ in order to dress quickly, fit in with our colleagues and go about our lives. We may shop intermittently for new items but answer honestly, if you really looked at yourself would you say ‘wow, not bad’ or ‘could maybe do with a make over’! Try to impartially assess your style. Perhaps take a selfie. Are you a little dated, do you need to freshen your image or amend your look to suit your present lifestyle better? Makeup can be a factor too; many women wear the same look for years, yet most department stores employ makeup consultants who are only too happy to provide advice on updating your image. Visit a different hairdresser or barber and benefit from being styled by a fresh pair of eyes.
– Schedule in some fun. Some times of the year can seem more gloomy than others. If you’re short of cash, on your own or overwhelmed with commitments there can seem to be little opportunity for fun anytime soon. Plan a get together, maybe once every few weeks or so, where you invite friends, neighbours, colleagues around for a catch up. It could be a games evening with cards or football, a bite of supper where everyone brings a bottle or dish or even a local concert or dance. Money doesn’t need to be a major part of fun. Having people round for a coffee or going for a walk together can help you feel more positive, sociable and inject some sociability into your life. And having something in your diary to look forward to can really lift your spirits.
– Do things that make you feel happy. Even if you’ve only a little free time, try to ensure that you find a corner in your day where you read a book or enjoy a special hobby or interest. Maybe go to bed a little earlier and spend the time listening to music or find a stimulating evening class. When you find time for things that make you feel happy you’ll find that you look better as a consequence.
Looking good comes not just from being clean, tidy and well-groomed. It’s also important to invest time and attention in our mental and emotional well being also.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?The-Best-Way-to-Look-Good-Each-Day&id=8811760] The Best Way to Look Good Each Day
Why People Fear Success
By Rashida Costa
YouTube seems to be the go to place these days for people seeking overnight fame. A lot of people mistake being infamous for being famous. They are two drastically different things. Yet very few of the ones who decide to jump on YouTube appear to have any real talent.
So why aren’t the talented people seeking out this platform to showcase their talents?
For many the reasons truly vary. Are they filled with apprehension about achieving success?
Have you look at a YouTube video and noticed the thumbs up and thumbs down icon beneath the video?
Well, some people are really positive and then there are the negative Nancys. Putting yourself out there requires thick skin. If you are like me, then it is relatively easy to tell the haters to go jump off a bridge somewhere. Which raises the question, “Where did all these unhealthy personalities in society come from anyway?”
Most of the haters are products of poor parenting and an uncultured environment of upbringing, raised in the current psychologically pathological society where they socially conform to a social trend of haters. Before all the incompetent parents failed this generation, a few decades ago people with such toxic attitudes appropriately became social outcasts, and if their behavior failed to remit, they appropriately became the subject of therapeutic interventions such as corrective physical assaults. They are often found to be facing the fearful component of two things: A degree of discomfort with success, and envy.
To revisit the initial point of why otherwise talented people refrain from pushing as hard as they otherwise could, YouTube is only used as a reference point.
People get comfortable in their own skin. Most people worry about social acceptance and being liked, and the idea of climbing up the ladder ahead of their peers, co-workers, friends and family, is something that unconsciously alarms and induces internal conflict in them, inducing a level of anxiety and ambivalence that keeps them from moving forward.
The fear that a stand-up comedian encounters before or during their stage performance is very different from what someone who is afraid of success encounters.
In a relative sense, the two can be synonymous in that they both may have a fear of rejection. The comedian’s fears may arise from a place of being heckled on stage, and Joe Brown may fear that his singing abilities may not be very well appreciated. Either way, both parties are fearful of rejection in their own way.
On the other hand, the comedian’s fear of being heckled may differ from Joe’s fear of facing his competition, being envied and hated by everyone he knows, including those who does not even know.
People are not always happy for the success of others, so much to the point where they become malevolent.
As a former model, 5’8″, I can tell you that women can be exasperatingly unpleasant. Being a senior in high school, I recalled one morning the school’s principal at the time announced that Althea Laing, a very famous Jamaican fashion model, was scouting for aspiring models and those who were interested in a modeling career should go see her at the designated area.
Naturally this was right up my alley, so on I went. I recall standing at the designated waiting area where the fashion mogul would appear, when all of a sudden my “best friend” at the time came out of nowhere.
Now puzzled why she was there, my curiosity lead me to direct my inquiry of her. Her response was, “I am interested in becoming a model too.” The look on my face was a ghastly thing to see.
Yes, at this point you are wondering what is the issue or maybe you have already figured it out. Do you know someone like that? Hence the long lived adage of keeping up with the joneses.
This little midget had never expressed any interest in being a model. She saw my opportunity, and in the glimpse of the moment, abandoned all aspirations to become a history teacher.
I referenced her as the little midget, as this girl was doubtfully 4ft tall, and no I am not expanding here either, she was that short.
For the record, there is nothing wrong with short people, but that bears resemblance to my waking up one day and deciding that my friend that I don’t have by choice, wants to be a singer, so that is my calling as well.
There are a lot of things about me. Singing is certainly not one of them. Or I could tell you about a certain cousin of mine, that converted her whole life to cater to the field of nursing as a result of my expressed interests in that arena.
What am I saying people? You are obliged to live your life for you, and pursue your dreams. Embracing the tendency to shy away from success in view of others and their remarks, envy, or reactions, is doing a disservice to yourself.
It starts with finding your self-worth and placing an immeasurable value on yourself. Believing that you are worthy and deserving of success.
According to recent studies, fearing success is a very real condition, one that has the existing possibility to cause you to become infirm.
Have you ever experienced shakiness, sweaty palms, during or before a really important job interview?
That is as a result of the physiological changes that you are experiencing due to the nature of your anxiety level.
Actors often utilize breathing exercises, or in some cases yoga. These are not bad alternatives, in fact they are very effective.
One of my favorite jokes is by the great Les Brown, nationally renowned speaker, who said in one of his speeches he had moments where he stood up and his mind sat down. This cracks me up every time, but it is a reality; it does happen.
Success in its own right is very subjective. However, whatever that is for you, it is vital to know that your fear is very real and more common than you think.
With that being said, in the end, the ball is in your court and how the game ends is ultimately up to you.
Success does not happen by accident, but by our hard work, persistence, and the choices we make.
And once you have achieved success, in order to keep being successful, you must recognize the hard work and skills that brought you to your level of success.
A good way to do this is to journal your journey along the way. This helps put things into perspective and keeps you honest and accountable for your success.
You are probably producing a thousand and one different thoughts as to why you wouldn’t feel internally successful. This is because there are actually people who chalk up their success to pure luck.
They experience an inability to internalize their accomplishments. They feel as though they are frauds and are not deserving of the success that they have achieved. This is a condition known as the imposter syndrome.
The signs and symptoms present differently. To provide a picture of what this looks like:
• Exhibiting habits of over-perfectionism.
• Overworking oneself
• The person tends to undermine their achievements
• They do not receive being praised very well, or tend to downplay it.
People experiencing this syndrome often will have a mindset that failing is not an option, or as aforementioned, their success is merely by luck.
“I have written 11 books, but each time I think, ‘Uh oh, they’re going to find out now. I’ve run a game on everybody, and they’re going to find me out'” -Maya Angelou
Do not read this and self-diagnose; rather, if you or someone you know experiences any of the above, rest assured that it can be overcome, without seeking help from a professional.
In the interim, believe in yourself and your abilities. Self-worth and success will be yours with hard work and persistence.
Do me a favor. I want you to adopt a 30-day ritual. Every day of these 30 days, look in the mirror, and say out loud, “I am worthy and deserving of success; I am going to make it.”
If it takes you longer than this exercise period to believe it, that is perfectly fine too. The important thing is that you are fully engaged in your own personal development, and that you make a commitment to yourself to honor this daily, and stay committed.
Change your life today, no more holding back, go for your dreams!
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?Why-People-Fear-Success&id=9945085] Why People Fear Success
My name is Robert Reese and I am the Chief Executive Officer and Owner of StepsToProsper.com, the # 1 Self Advancement blog site. I like connecting with individuals that have an enthusiasm for Growth, Self Advancement & Getting Success. I started this blog with the purpose of informing and also inspiring like minded individuals to always make every effort for success regardless of what their scenarios are. I’m pleased to state through my podcast as well as via the StepsToProsper website we have affected lives in a positive way in the last 4 and a half years.
How To Be Happier
By Bob Tom
Happiness is every person’s goal in life. Even though most people have no idea of what to do to be happy and what happiness really adds up to. We all strive to stay relevant to our goal.
1. They are not self-absorbed
This is a person that generally does not make everything about themselves. They are open-minded and allow their thinking to go beyond their heads. They welcome other people’s suggestions and criticism. They don’t take other people’s opinions about them personally. They build their character based on well-thought out choices and opinions. They positively accept correction from people and also appreciate other people’s way of life.
2. They are appreciative and contented
Being contented and showing appreciation is a character trait that most people don’t have. They take a lot of things for granted not knowing they deprive themselves of the small joys of the world. Being able to appreciate someone else for how they have dressed, made their hair, their new pair of shoes, being able to see the other person laugh and smile and having contributed to them having a nice day is even a greater way of being happy.
3. Making alone time and meditating
This is a vital part of being happy and knowing yourself better. Having alone time helps one check on their character, know what makes them happy, sad, set life goals, etc. When meditating, one learns what to focus on with life, what makes their life better and how to better themselves. Making sure to have some alone time also keeps someone in a peaceful mood and helps them to face their fears.
4. Doing things that make them genuinely happy
Being happy is a full-time job, so each of us needs to find what genuinely makes them happy and avoid hypocrisy. Doing what genuinely makes you happy will help someone from harboring hate and toxic feelings caused by forced happiness and pretending to be happy for everyone else’s sake. Most people have an illusion of happiness and they don’t try and find genuine happiness or what activities genuinely make them happy. So they end up feeling unfulfilled and sad. So, finding genuine activities that make you happy is a great step to being extremely happy.
5. Having a positive attitude towards life
Life brings a lot of challenges with it and the sad part is life challenges are inevitable. People have to find better ways to cope with that. People with positive mindsets have it easier when difficulties come to their path. They see problems as challenges that they have to face to pass a given stage and enable them to relate to things in a better way. Those who are afraid of challenges will always feel condemned and sad because they never know their way through.
6. Being at peace with yourself, friends, associates, and family
You should try, as much as possible, to be at peace with those close to you. These include friends, family, work associates and, even your partner. These people play a major role, what they do can directly affect.
7. Enjoying every moment
Most people take for granted moments spent with other people; either playing, out for coffee or chilling in the house and even time spent with their family. They fail to maximize the fun they would have had during these times. This is also a way of harboring regrets and unfulfilled moments that people have. Hence having bad days and tough times.
8. Respecting yourself and not settling for mediocre
People who know what they want in life don’t settle. They know their purpose, set goals and work towards them. Despite the challenges they might face on their way to success, such people don’t give up. They are grounded and they don’t settle for mediocre results that are unfulfilling to them. They know their self-worth and they work at achieving what they set their minds to.
9. Staying healthy
Health is a major contributor to happiness. This entails having good eating habits. Make sure you have a balanced diet, take lots of water and make sure your meals are hygienically prepared. This will help you avoid sicknesses and stay healthy. Exercises also helps people stay in shape and avoid diseases caused by unhealthy eating, it also helps someone unwind and feel relaxed. Ensuring one is clean by bathing, putting on makeup, perfume. This helps boost someone’s confidence and makes them feel good about themselves.
10. Rewarding and feeling good about yourself
Everyone loves gifts and being appreciated. Most people forget that you can buy yourself gifts, appreciate yourself and feel good about it. We all have our shameful struggles or our bad habits that we aren’t proud of. When you stop a bad habit and no one notices, treat yourself out, buy yourself some new belt. People might not know how big a deal the situation was or how much you struggled with it. Awarding, and giving yourself credit for it, is not a bad thing. This will help you see yourself as an achiever and will also boost your self-confidence.
11. Surrounding yourself with people and things that bring positivity in your life
The people and things someone surrounds themselves with say a lot about them. They highly contribute to someone’s character and thinking. If you surround yourself with people who are always about the positive side of life and encouraging one another to be better versions of themselves, then there are high chances that that is the kind of person you will be. This character building technique is important in our lives. You should be careful who you relate with because they influence you in a wonderful way.
12. Treating people with kindness, respect and being happy for them
One can create happiness by seeing other people happy. This is also a way of trying to live a fulfilling life. Help people out when you can, reach out to them when they need your help. Visit the patients in hospitals, help out in orphanages, give food to the homeless. You feel fulfilled when you are able to make someone smile and be happy. Treat your friend who delivered a presentation. These are some of the ways in which being kind and helpful to others can bring to you happiness through these simple gestures.
13. Not comparing yourself with other people
Comparing yourself, your personal achievements and successes with those of other people is not a healthy way of being happy. Most people forget that everyone is totally different from others and we all have different struggles in life. Comparing yourself to other people is an injustice to yourself and you end up degrading yourself and end up leading some sad, unmeaningful life. You should try and better yourself from what you have. You should not consider another person’s success makes them better than you for any reason. Focus on bettering yourself on what makes you happy and fulfilled. Make your own path to achieving your goals and dreams.
14. Have life-improving goals
Most people settle for what they are offered even when deep down they know it is not what they want or deserve. This ends up making them feel less of a person or not fully recognized by people. Make sure you set goals that help you become a better person. Either mentally, financially or physically. Strive to make the best out of yourself and when faced with challenges don’t despair. Make the best out of your worst experiences.
15. Allowing yourself to be human
We focus so much on other people and make considerations for them rather than for ourselves. We forget that we also hurt, feel, cry and make mistakes. A lot of people are so focused on their mistakes and setbacks, they forget that they also fall, fail and make mistakes, which is okay. They should accept that mistakes are inevitable, and you can always make the best out of them and learn something. Forgive yourself as often as possible, accept your faults and apologize when needed, or when you know you are at fault. Don’t forget, you are just as human as everyone else and, just like them, you also can make mistakes and be at fault.
We are all entitled to being happy and finding fulfillment in whatever we decide to do with our lives. People should realize their happiness solely depends on their choices and perception about life and what it brings with it.
Article Source: [http://EzineArticles.com/?15-Habits-of-Extremely-Happy-People&id=9975274] 15 Habits of Extremely Happy People